Kajal is a big fan of my live-blogging entries, and after inviting a few of us over for an evening of 90210, I decided to drag my laptop along and do my best interpretation of live-blogging the premiere. So,
Brianna, Kajal, Liz, (and Dilan and B by default) and myself met up at Kajal's apartment for pizza, snark, and
90210- the new class.
For the record, I'm going to try to not plot summarize as much as possible. I'm not a recapper on
TWOP; I'm just someone who finds the idea of a new 90210 hilarious. If you want a recap, check out TWOP; I'm sure they have a good one. The ironic part of this for me is that I never watched 90210 in my youth. I've been catching up via Soap Net this summer, but I'm still not totally there. I caught the end (the after-college years?) and now they recently started over, so I'm probably about a month or two into it. Brenda and Dillan just started dating in my world, and Brandon is being a little over protective...
But on with the snark!
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Aunt Becky from Full House!
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Grandma character is awesome. She's the mother from Arrested Development, and she is a GREAT character. And her name is Tabitha. Awesome.
-"Black dude" has very small nipples. Brianna told me that I should call him black dude because we don't know his name yet, and she's assuming that he's the only black dude on the show.
-Blow job in the front seat would never have been on the old 90210.
-Teacher guy is totally hot. We're officially old. Frankly, the principal is pretty hot too. Liz finds it a little hard to believe that the original cast's kids are that old.
-They're really not going to let off on the fact that these new kids came from Wichita. I think it's been mentioned about five times already and we're only two minutes in.
-The Mr. Matthew's character is hot. If I didn't mention that before. Which I totally did.
-Andrea Zukerman's daughter is part of the class. And looks... exactly like it.
- They're doing *Spring Awakening* as their high school play???? Not only is it verrrry risqué, as Bri pointed out, the rights alone would be insanely expensive, if available at all. I mean, it's still on Broadway.
-Brenda! Even though I'm the only one that saw it. We rewound three times. Everyone else agrees with me.
-Drugs! Hidden in a book. Scandal! Artsy fartsy girl seems to have a problem...
-Rich Girl needs report written. New Girl handily already wrote a paper on that same topic. That she'll totally lend Rich Girl.
-Awww... Kajal sings to Dilan. It's super cute. Dilan might be cuter than Mr. Matthews, let me just note.
-Apparently, before the commercial break black dude was in a fight during lacrosse practice. Awesome grandma (who thinks she's too good for tater tots) thinks it might be racially motivated.
-Party at the Peach Pit (after dark?)!!!!!!
- Slutty rich girl mom stopped by principal's (/new kid's) house. They're really making this guy have an extensive West Beverly back story, despite the fact that I've never heard of him before.
- Becky is bitchy! Awesome! Plus, she dated some guy named Morris Cornbluth.
- Silver has a video blog. Half a million hits! That makes her.... 20 million times more popular than me. And she makes funny videos. Oh, and she's Kelly's little sister.
- Black guy's name is Dixon. Got to figure out what new-girls name is now (Dixon's sister). He got kicked off of the lacrosse team. Now maybe he can focus more on media club and get to being Brandon.
- 8 years ago something happened that made Dixon part of their family. "Really his son." Theories so far: adopted, foster-child, god child. 8 years ago would have made him about 8 years old.
- "I can't believe you copied the whole thing word for word." Really??? You gave it to her. To "look at." That's totally code for "copy it entirely"
- Is she crashing the party? The one that she was totally dis-invited from? Uh, yes. Actually, the quote the show "Are we actually crashing Naomi's party???"
- Brianna has seen the band playing at this not-sweet 16. She is way cooler than any of us.
- Rich Girl (Naomi's) mother is pissed off at principal guy for something that happened 20 years ago. Ah, that she had to give up his child in high school. That he didn't know about. I suppose I might be pissed off about that too.
- Rich Girl got a text, that stated "Your boyfriend is cheating on you. You know it's true" and freaked out crying and then broke up with him. Brianna thinks she's over reacting for gossip from an anonymous source.
-New Girl and Sliver, wearing fancy clothes, and possibly heels went to the beach. Ethan, who was at the party not two seconds ago, not only is already at the beach, but surfing, in a wetsuit and soaking wet. Brianna has predicted someone will get punched, (or shot) if the OC is any indication.
-Kelly has a kid. Who's the daddy? My money is Dillan.
- These kids are going to ruin their expensive clothing, because they're dancing in the salt water.
- Grandma character is awesome. Still.
- 2nd episode. Same as the first (but a little bit worse).
- In fact, I don't think the Ethan character is cute at all, whereas, the teacher characters are all cute. Like, he's not cute at alllllll. What was casting thinking?
- Ah! Artsy guy is cute. Kind of. Not as cute as the teacher or the principal, but still cute. And he's "noticed" Annie (aka new girl)
- Oh! Artsy girl is poor. A bitch, but poor. Maybe a bitch *because* she's poor in fact!
- Kajal astutely noted that Kelly's last name is still Taylor, implying singledom, and possible hook-up with hot teacher.
- Silver just had her best blogisode yet. This is quite possibly *my* best blogisode yet. Do you think that the term blogisode only refers to video blogs?
- Artsy guy's name is Ty Collins. Kajal thinks he's a little too pretty. His age isn't listed on
IMDB. Instead it just says that his "age range" is 16-20. Lame. If you find out how old he is, let me know.
- We have a theory that
Privileged is the same show as 90210.
- Artsy guy is flying New girl to dinner in San Fransisco. Nothing like that has ever happened to me.
- Awww. It's cute she's from Kansas! Artsy (super rich) guy thinks it's cute.
- Brenda!!!
- Brandon called Kelly at 3am and apparently hasn't seen his son (?) since he was a baby. Crappy dad Brandon, crappy dad. That's not how you were raised.
- Pigs in a car seem like a really big idea. I don't think your car would ever smell the same again after a pig pooed in it.
- Never do bad things. Because if you do, your grandmother will get in a car accident picking up her laptop because you were supposed to do it. This was foreshadowed (I'm an English teacher, can you tell?) earlier in the episode, when the principal and grandmother had a conversation about not driving on her pills and "iced tea."
- Ethan is wearing socks on in the pool. We don't quite know why, but my theory is that it has something to do with the fact that Brianna keeps mentioning how cold it is this time of year in California.
- Ethan is totally in LUV with new girl. I mean Annie. And he isn't wearing socks. It's just bad lighting. In an hour and a half, they have had an extremely complex relationship.
- Naomi and Silver have the same tattoo... ohhh... back story!
This is where my computer died. It was a long two hours ;) Luckily, I had a pencil and paper on me. The live-blogging must go on!
- Brenda is wearing a vest. Our group thinks this might be a not-so-subtle nod to the early 90s. Of course, this whole show could just be an extreme example of how that era is returning via fashion. I saw the grunge in In Touch. I know what the kids are wearing.
- These kids drink a ton of coffee. If they weren't all 6' tall amazons, I would remind them that coffee stunts your growth. And they get "coffee money". That just seems a little OD.
- Is it just me, or is Aunt Becky always from Kansas? I have to do some research here... ah, no. Her character on Full House was from
Nebraska. The internet, is there anything it can't do?
- Poor friend-Ethan. That is all you will ever be. You and your pentopus should go back where you came from.
That's all folks! Wine club on Thursday, so I should have some reccomendations soon.
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