3rd Annual live blogging the Oscars (from an alternate location)

So, despite being in the Lancaster NICU, I feel the need to find a sense of normalcy through my annual tradition of blogging the Oscar's for Kajal, who is somewhere much more interesting, sunbathing on a beach. Well, probably not during the Oscar telecast, but even if she watched every moment live, here you go, my viewing public. A brief reprieve from my accidental hiatus.

Tim Gunn hosting the red carpet! Oh la la!

Mila Kunis- pretty, unusual dress. Purple and ruffly. I love it. Some of the wrapping gives her weird lumps, but mostly I love it.

Hailey Seinfeld- Adorable and age appropriate. Sometimes I don't like the flesh colored dresses, but this one is pretty and not sexy. Just pretty. And she's adorable and gushing.

Boys are so boring. Jesse Eisenburg. Wow, he's wearing a suit (to be fair, probably a tux). Being dryly witty. He needs a haircut. Now he's standing awkwardly, with a message for his mom, being like, can I go now? Poor kid.

Amy Adams- love the dress. It's hot and unusual. Not sure about the jewelry, but love love the dress. Great color, and unusual with the cap sleeves and high neckline.

Jennifer Laurence- Girl I don't know wearing an "eh" boring red dress. Yawn.

And there's Kevin Spacey, wearing a tux. Wow.

Russell Brand brought his mom. How adorable. He's actually wearing a kind of interesting, navy suit with some sort of tone on tone pattern in the shirt. Hmm…

Melissa Leo- Eh, weird dress. Another high neckline, but instead it plunges in the front, but is high in the back. But it's white and covered in broken mirrors. Hmm….

Poor Tim Gunn. Being lowered to reading Facebook questions on the red carpet.

Note to self: Facebook automatically gets capitalized on TextEdit.

Justin Timbelake= hot. Even if he's just in a tux.

Awww… The PS22 Chorus. I <3 them.

According to the NYT, red is the color of the evening.

Cate Blanchett is adorable. Another lilac colored dress. I actually really like it. It's really interesting, and she looks striking. I like her pixie cut. The way the beads are a big circle around her chest is kind of weird, but the skirt is pleated and beautiful. And Tim Gunn was gushing, which was also super cute.

Mark Ruffalo's wife is called sunrise. Is that weird? Her dress is really dark and heavy. He's adorable though. He was in my favorite movie, 13 going on 30. (Not really my favorite movie, but you know…well, maybe you don't, but that's okay too)

Marisa Tomei certainly went for the drama. Cute dress, she's pretty easy going and fun seeming, so I'll go for it. Tim Gunn called her dress "staggering" and "fashion history"- I'm not sure if he means that as a compliment or not.

Don't know how much more I'm going to make…. have to go home, and then I'll come back.

8pm. Red carpet is still going on.

Natalie Portman- looks awesome in a more vivid purple. And pregnancy looks good on her.

James Franco- I kind of madly love him. He goes to Yale for like, literature. He's wearing a tux too, yawn, but seriously. I love him. He obviously doesn't take this all too seriously at all.

JT again. Talking to Tim Gunn this time, and still looking adorable.

Sandy Bullock. Doesn't look as good as she did last year (I still think about those beautiful, shiny lips), but still looks good. She's so pretty. She's wearing red too, and it's a great color on her.

Nicole Kidman- looks a little harsh. Her dress has a lot of angles and kind of weird sparkliness. I like the ponytail though. Nicole likes the structure, but I like her in something flowy-ier (more flowy?)

Gwyneth Paltrow- wearing gold, and looks very orange. I usually like her a lot, but tonight I'm not sure about her.

Christian Bale- Love his beard. DId he always have a beard? I also like the black on black on black tux. Suit? What distinguishes a tux from a suit?

Missed Scarlett Johanason earlier. Her dress is pretty stunning. So does Anne Hathaway.

Um, wait, just caught this, but Matthew Machonoey couldn't shave for the occasion? Mamma mia.

Okay, in the green room now; 5 minutes until the show:

Halle Berry looks amazing. Like a cloud. She looks floating and airy and beautiful. And her jewelry is just sparkly and beautiful while still understated.

Opening montage is pretty funny. I like how Morgan Freeman called James Franco "that guy from General Hospital"

You just got "inceptioned"

Back to the future? Gotta love the delorean.

Oh! Anne has another pretty pretty dress on.

I love James Franco. So weird. How could you not love someone who is so weird? And who loves his grandma?

"It's been a great year for lesbians."

Clark Gable still makes me a little woozy. Sigh.

Art Direction: I actually saw Alice in Wonderland and Inception. Go me. So I saw a winner! Awesomeness! And it was seriously beautiful. A weird interpretation of the film, but simply stunning to watch. (And thank you Netflix instant streaming)

Cinematography- Inception. Such a stunning film. Glad it won. For the record, I think I've seen only these two nominated films, so there won't be too much more for me to comment on.

Besides Anne Hathaway's pretty dress. Did I mention that? Cause pretty. And the shiny hair. So pretty.

Oh, Melissa Leo won best supporting actress, though everyone was making a big fuss over some trade magazine ads she put up. Weirdos. She looks seriously shocked. The dress looks better on stage than it did on the red carpet. I like her understated lipstick.

I like the way they keep James Franco and Anne Hathaway off to the side. I hope they let them sit down during the awards. Otherwise, poor Anne Hathaway and her poor feet.

JT: I'm Banksy. God, that felt good.

Awesome.

Is Toy Story 3 just a shoo in for the animated feature? I guess so.

Hmmm… White suits. Tuxes. Javier Bardian's though is sort of cream colored.

I'm glad Aaron Sorkin won best adapted screenplay, mostly because I love West Wing so much. He might be a huge jerk or something, but really, I love the west wing, and it is totally because of him. I can't believe they're playing him off the stage.

First Academy Award for The King's Speech (best screenplay). I think it is a favorite for Best Picture, so let's see how it goes.

I love Anne Hathaway's rendition of On My Own. And what shoes. Um… who is in drag as Marilyn Monroe? James Franco makes a surpisngly attractive, if borad shouldered woman. Seriously, very good makeup job. The lipstick is especially flattering.

Helen Miriam looks beautiful. The puffed sleeves looks surprisingly good on her. And the necklace… ohh la la.

Reese Witherspoon looks good. Very classic. I know some people don't like her, but I've always been a fan. Not nuts about her hair though, I'd like her to go a little more mature than a ponytail.

Christian Bale's beard won best supporting actor! Lovely for his wife "who's my mast, and I hope I'm likewise for you". Beautiful.

Anne is wearing another pretty (though not so pretty as her last two) dress. I'll reserve judgement on it until i get the full view though.

Trent Reznor won for music? Does this mean he sold out? And he looks very mainstream. I guess the 90s are over (long live the 90s).

James Franco: I am 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon away from our next two presenters.

Seriously, why didn't Matthew Machonoey shave? And wash his hair? Damn.

Anne's necklace is super pretty.

Marissa Tomei's dress is very pretty. Vintage, and very flattering on her, though not overwhelming. Also very subtle on the makeup. She's very pretty.

Still like Cate Blanchett's dress, though she might look kind of like a spaceman from the future. Well, space woman. You know what I mean.

Amy Adams is adorable. I really like her, even if I'm angry about Julie & Julia. Well, her part in it (and really, that's Julie Powell's problem more than Amy Adams' problem).

Love Anne's swingy dress. So pretty!

Autotuned Harry Potter! Whoo! Autotuned Twilight. Hilarious (Doesn't he own a shirt? He's too sexy to wear a shirt).

Even Anne loves the swingy dress. Awesome.

Oprah is all over the place this year. And sparkly. I love the sparkles.

Feature Documentary winner lady looks great (Audrey Marrs). I love her bows and pretty bun. Feature Documentary winner man doesn't know how political to go, but I think you have to when you win documentary. Oprah is still sparkly on the way out.

Billy Crystal is looking a little puffy these days. Still funny though.

Anne looks great in that color red.

Gwenyth is wearing (I believe) a different gold dress now, and still looks overly gold, but definitely looks less orange. Maybe. I don't like the super-pale lipstick thing on her though.

Jennifer Hudson's boobs look kind of weird in that dress, though it is very stunning.

Not a fan of Anne's dress now. Blue vinyl? really?

Hilliary Swank got a cloud dress too, but Halle Berry's is much prettier. And for the record, I'm in the Office's "Not Hot" category for Hiliary Swank. Eh, she just doesn't do it for me.

I didn't mention Annette Benning earlier, because she was on the red carpet when I was leaving the hospital, but she looks amazing. And that dress is very flattering. It's also just beautiful how much Warren Betty is in love with her. I love it.

Natalie Portman looks so good pregnant. Really.

It's kind of cute to have Jeff Bridges announce the best actress nominees, but I kind of like what they did last year better. I suppose this is a little faster probably.

Yay Natalie Portman! That's the movie I really wish I had seen that I haven't (though several other films are on the list). I don't like here earrings though. Tassels are for curtains, not for ears.

Anne Hathaway, how could you not have told me about the drinking game earlier???

Colin Firth. I love him, though it's so boring and typical to love him. I'm glad he won though I'm not sure that I'm going to see The King's Speech, even though it's supposed to be really good. And I love Helena Bohneim Carter.

Beautiful montage for best picture. I still haven't forgiven Steven Speilburg for the last Indiana Jones movie though.

Kings Speech. Did I call it? (Yes I did, see above). Total= 4 awards, including Best Picture. Pretty cool. Maybe I should see it.

Anne's last dress= a winner. Beautiful!! Another turtleneck. Who knew?

Awww. I love PS22. NYC represent! Lovely sweet. Those kids make me cry all the time.

And for the record, James Franco probably had as many wardrobe changes as Anne, but the only one I noticed was his stunning rendition of Marilyn Monroe.

Oh, and does the milestone of "both hosts dress in drag" count as a historic Oscars milestone?